Sea Water

"Why you don't want to go to the beach? do you hate sea so much?"
I don't want to see her in the eyes and let her dive deep into my withered soul. Instead, I stared at the mirror behind her. I answered as if I was talking to myself.
"No, it's not the sea that I hate. I just can't enjoy being at the beach."
As I kept staring at myself in the mirror, I just realized that my eyes were more sunken and my cheekbones was more pronounced. There wasn't just a withered soul, but a withered figure as well.
"Why? Don't you find it peaceful to have the wind upon your face and embrace you? How come a human don't enjoy the music the waves make?"

Sadarlah, kau tidak buta. 
Kau hanya diam dalam gelap.

Sadarlah, kau tidak mati rasa. 
Kau hanya diam dalam hawa dingin yang membekukan.

Sadarlah, kau tidak tuli. 
Kau hanya diam dalam kehampaan.

Dan sadarlah! Sadar bahwa kau sama sekali tak terusik karenanya.

Sadarlah..

Terusiklah..
Jangan diam seperti batu..

Hesitation

Will you run away?
Will I run away?
....
Will you run away?
No. I won't. Never.
Are you sure you won't?
....
Will you run away?
What do you want to hear?
Nothing. I want to hear nothing.
Then why do you keep asking?
....
Will you run away?
I can't promise you any words.
Why? You once answered me you won't.
Because I found hesitation in all your questions.
That's because I found hesitation in all your answers.

Renjana

Yang dijaga mati-matian, tak kujumpai di mana pun.
Ia hilang.
Menambah luas kekosongan.

Kepada bayang-bayang dalam cermin, jiwa sekaratku bertanya,
Di mana ia yang kemarin berapi-api?
Di mana renjanaku?

Ia menatapku dengan iba. Menunjuk tepat ke dadaku.
Ia tetap di sana.
Tapi ia padam.

Longing

I am longing for a place where I had been in

A place where my constellation was not yet in existence

When my limbs were just tiny branches of ungrown trees

With my spirit slept in the breath of the angels as the lullaby

And the divine love as the only tenderness I recognized

I am longing for a place I am going to be in

A place where my constellation dies of exhaustion

When my limbs will become solid and bushy roots

With my spirit sleeps in the dark hollow as the chamber

And the divine love as the only tenderness I'll be expecting

Lifeform (Part 1)

With trembling hands, she put the thing on my palm. She look away, obstruct the worries and fears that I could have seen in her eyes.
I look down to discover two red lines on the test pack she gave me.
"This is..." I look at it over and over again in disbelief
"Terrifying," she says in a croaky voice.

With no invitation, the cold wind comes in, smothers me.
And I am stuck in the avalanche.

I asked God to send me a person who will hold my hands and watch me as I fix myself. He gave me more. He sent me one who helps me fix myself.

And for once in a million years this despicable being feels grateful.

Going home

I wanna leave you
I wanna lose us
I wanna give up
But I won’t

I wanna miss this
I want a heartache
I wanna run away
But I won’t

The Civil Wars - Same Old Same Old

Unloved

A man approaches me

He said that he loves me

While it's my skin that he enjoys

A woman embraces me

She said that she loves me

While it's my blood that she considers

Another man inarmed me

He said that he loves me

While it's the idea of me that he adores

And here comes me

I said that I love myself

While it's my white lies that I am craving for

Evaporate

I am a drop of morning dew on dandelion.
When the light warmly embraces me, you'll behold all the beauty in me. Not even a single drop concealed.
Watching my move will be enchanting. As if you were listening to the sound of tiny bells ringing in the wind.
But my show time is very short. My beauty won't last long.
For the light turns savage, devastating all my beauty it just revealed.
You will find me lay in a spot of weak light. With my body dried and wrinkled.
Slowly I'll disappear forever.

And you?
You'll walk away, start your day with morning spirit upon you.